Thursday, 29 March 2018

The story of a mother of a child with autism/ADHD

I am mad... so frustrated... so sad... so disheartened...
schools do not seem to be doing what they are supposed to be doing... learning is not for all...

the fact that we are STILL struggling to make my son's schooling situation work... that they STILL do not tell us about changes before they are made so that we can adequately prepare him, and then send messages home about how we, as parents, need to teach my son how to behave at school... I mean how many times, how many years, do we need to tell them that without adequate preparation he is not going to react well... I mean why blame us when they are making the mistake... we work out butts off to try and make it work... communicate changes at home so they know... which they ignore.
I have kept him off school on days when he is not able to manage anymore
and for the first time I have just kept him off school because i am so damn angry with the school's complete lack of collaboration to make it work... I mean if we collaborate then its going to be good for my son and the other children... but if the only focus is to make it good for the other children, and not collaborating with us... then we are never going to get anywhere...

and I care about the other children too... its just all the focus cannot be about fixing my son for the sake of them...

"an effective school" we keep getting told... "my masters - my research" we keep getting told... but effective for whom? Not my son that is for sure... is that research being used for my child and others with autism and ADHD - it doesn't seem the case... despite being told that the teachers do not have the competence to teach my son, not once have they been sent on competence training in this area...
despite me telling them that he learns through his interests - not once have they adjusted lessons - it's the same crap in a different room despite the school authority being clear in its documents that children with autism learn often best through their interests... and that training is essential... they are not even following the documents they should...
Since sweden has made the decision to make attending school a LEGAL REQUIREMENT - then this country needs to ensure that there are schools for EVERYONE - for all learning styles, for all abilities, for all interests - there needs to be educators that understand, trained and are given the time to be flexible to allow children outside the "learning norm" the chance to learn... I mean really learn... not just try to learn how to learn like the norm... that is NOT real learning. Sure to be aware of the many learning styles... but not to have to learn a specific learning style to get the grades...
OH I am so mad...
and after months of being ignored by this new head who runs an "effective" school... finally they have agreed to a meeting, that I said was acute - needed to happen this week or the day after returning from the Easter break, since they have changed his timetable for the third time within 2 weeks without letting us know beforehand, they changed his class without letting us know first, they changed the routines that he is to spend part of his days in a small group with others (and this they have changed twice in the last week, as to how often, and given me two names as to what it is called)... - The idea is that after the easter break we can start afresh... but oh no... we have to wait a week or two after the easter break before we can have that meeting... so of course probably meaning two weeks of a timetable that might get changed again... but the first date we were given did not work for us, as we meet the psychologists then... and a new date has STILL not been given...
Do we change schools AGAIN?
The school for children like my sonl is full... we have been turned down 3 years in a row now..
Please Sweden I am begging you... there needs to be more options so that there is a school that all children WANT to go to... not places I send my child against his will to do stuff in a way that is not meaningful... 

what about the rights of children? Doesn't he have the right to say NO, I don't learn like this...

the sad fact is that my child is seen as a problem... he is not loved, he is not valued... and they have made it certainly clear that he is not being REALLY listened to (they barely listen to us) - he cannot learn because he learns through play and exploration and that is not an option as a soon to be 14 year old in a Swedish school.
And on a side note: the fact that I have the masters in education, but that I have to give my husband the information and prep him before a meeting is just ridiculous... why doesn't society value my education as a woman? Why does it have to be delivered by my husband?
Equality has come a fair way... but there is still a long way to go...

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