The Story of communication

This post has been brewing for a while... and my reflections have deepened due to chats with Kierna Corr who has stayed with me over the last few days and we have visited a preschool director (Soledad from Aspen preschool - link at the end to read a post about a previous visit to her preschool) in Botkyrka (Sweden's most immigrant rich commune) and also Annika who is responsible for the preschools in the Rinkeby/Kista area (another immigrant rich area).
The purpose of our visits have been to learn more about how can we better support the children of immigrant families - especially with language... with communication.

But before we can start with the children there is a need to start with ourselves... as educators. So this post will focus on that before moving onto the children and learning...

How do we communicate?
To create a safe space...
Knowledge...
to explore ideas...
learning...
etc

Do we speak in different ways depending on who we are talking to... and why do we do this? Is it appropriate?
When we communicate are we leaving enough space for others to communicate their ideas? Are we actually, truly, open to these ideas, or are they just words?
Why do we listen to some ideas and not others? Whose ideas do we give the most value to? and why?
What part of communication do we prioritise? Listening? Speaking? Reading? Writing? Why?
What are our expectations of others when it comes to these four areas of communication? Do we hold ourselves to the same standard of expectation as we do our peers, or the children...

Sometimes I think as adults we can struggle to create democratic classrooms, or listening classrooms, or even respectful classrooms because we did not experience this ourselves - we do not truly know what it looks like or feels like. So we have to be creative.

I also think that schools tend to focus on teaching children how to debate... and so teachers are debaters rather than skilled in dialogue, which is very different.
Debate is about getting your point across (whether you believe in it or not in school as a practice in the art of debating) - therefore debate is not so much about finding the truth, or the strength of the facts, but about the ability of the person talking - their passion, their ability to communicate, their ability to out-voice other ideas and opinions.
While dialogue is exploring ideas and opinions together, being open to learning from them, being willing to change your mind if the facts, the research point in a different direction from what you thought you might take at first... or it might just lead to understanding others better and a deepening of your understanding of your own opinion. Not just repeating your own opinion over and over without it ever evolving or without ever benefiting from a greater understanding of others. 
I feel that teaching children to debate is a great skill, but it is just one form of communication, and is not a great one for creating a great classroom atmosphere, of allowing children to learn from each other, for allowing children who are weaker in communicating but have amazing ideas and opinions that can benefit from others to shine.
I also think that debating means educators might be less open to try new things, because they excel in proving that what they know is the right way.
I also think that a school system that tests and has right and wrong answers is also going to produce teachers/educators that are going to need a whole load more bravery to try new ideas... as getting it wrong meant failure in school... that is a hard feeling to shake.

Are we, as educators, really comfortable with unpacking our own prejudices so that we can face them, learn from them and evolve? I think there are many things that we do without reflecting on, small, everyday things, that are steeped in stereotyped behaviour and tradition. These actions can accidentally exclude, even if that is far from our intention. This is why we need to be open with ourselves and how we communicate with others. What is a our view of the child? How does that impact the way we talk with them... do we see them as competent, do we worry about risk, do we stress about physical contact (you don't hug in school)... how does this impact the words and intonation and your body language?

What about the classroom? Does the layout/design of your classroom encourage communication? What kind of communication? Between the children or only from teacher to children - where they listen passively? How do you design a classroom to support active listeners? What is your knowledge about how the children listen? What does real listening look like?

I received a letter from my son's school in preparation for the new term starting in the latter half of August... there it stated (yet again) the need for "studierro" STUDY PEACE - what does this mean? Sometimes it feels that the teachers are expecting silence and to sit still so that the children can learn... but really there is only a small minority of children who need silence in order to be able to learn.. and even fewer that appreciate sitting still as an effective way to learn.
If children are spending their energy on trying to be quiet and trying to be still, then there is less energy being spend on listening, language acquisition, learning and participating in lessons... and also less time for the educator to be facilitating the learning as time is being spend on micro-managing children to sit still and be quiet. So how do teachers create learning environments? That allows all the children to learn... including those that need to move and need to make noise in order to access knowledge?

This might mean the traditional classroom will not work... and there is a need for flexible seating... but equally it might mean a traditional classroom does work with a particular class and a particular teacher (as long as the teacher is open to seeing the needs of all the children and is not just trying to convert all the children into sit still and be quiet learners... as no matter how good you are at making that happen it does not guarantee you that all the children are learning effectively. Silence and compliance does not equal learning.

The norm is an important part of what makes up our society... our expectations of others, what we accept and what we do not... that hitting, violence, being rude, murdering etc are not part of the norm... what we wear is also part of the norm, how we speak, the words we choose, swearing, what foods etc... there is a need for them to create community and also to create a kind of ethical code. The problem is that these norms can be too small and too restrictive and they have a nasty habit of excluding... this is why, we as educators, need to look at the norm we participate in, our own context, and how that impacts our communication.
In the below images if have drawn the norm as a rectangle... the small circles are groups, for a variety of reason that get excluded from the norm, and very often educators strive to include them. The problem is that these children, these groups have to learn how to become a part of the norm, and their differentness is highlighted as a problem... my son with autism/ADHD refuses to adapt, while my daughters have been able to (but at a great personal expense... complete exhaustion and sometimes depression - in fact when I was with my 17 year old as she got her ASD diagnosis the doctor complimented her on her self awareness and the fact that if she continued to work on that her autism would go away... I pointed out, as a mother with ASD that the autism does not go away, what happens is that we get better at hiding it so that neurotypicals feel more comfortable - we learn how to step into that box)

Educators learn various strategies etc to help children enter that box, become a part of the norm... and in this very process alienate even more the identity and the differentness of the child. Whether it be autism, or being an immigrant, a different home language, a different culture or religion, or skin colour, or family or. or , or ... there is no real inclusion.

What we need is to expand the norm... this idea of what is acceptable... to learn that neurodiversity, languages, cultures, religions, ethnicity etc etc enrich our communities. We need to communicate, to listen and to understand... to allow not just the educator but the whole classroom and the whole of society to understand and include and to accept.
To ensure that the rectangle that represents the norm includes all the children and all the groups and that there is a mutual respect and adaptation so that all can stay true to their identities.

I sometimes hear that this cannot be done in a classroom that we need change in the whole of society... but I argue that it is in the classroom that we need to start making the change... so that bit by bit the future looks more accepting, more understanding more respectful, and more peaceful.

If we are learning to dialogue instead of debate
If we are learning to listen to understand rather than listening to answer
if we give children the time to learn rather than instructing at a hurried schedule
If we are open to evolve as educators rather than just do what we have always done
If we are brave - to face our mistakes, to stand up for what is right.

Communication is essential for change. And language is a part of that. so the up and coming posts will be about communication and language... and since I believe in the 100 languages I will attempt to reflect from many perspectives and also on the many ways we communicate and can support language acquisition.

In the meanwhile... here are a few posts to read...

The story of a word - one of my posts exploring the importance of discussing what words mean between colleagues... are we communicating on the same page, or are we interpreting words differently and creating mixed messages?

Oral Language - the verbal child - another of my posts reflecting on language development

The importance of the spoken language - another of my posts... this one reflects on why there is so little focus on non-verbal communication.

Teacher Child Conversations - Dickinson
quality dialogue, open ended questions, also about non-contextural, not just context based vocabulary (ie past and future)...

Why the babies brain can learn two languages

Body Language - how we read body language for deeper understanding of what others mean... that women are better than this than men on the whole, that women with young children are even better... and men with nurturing jobs like nursing arts etc are good too... dues to being in tune with non-verbal. Films without sound had actors gifted in body language to communicate the story... with words/sound, this is not needed, it needs to be verbally good as well as body language skills
negotiating over the phone it is about the words and the stronger argument... face to face it is about the performance

Aspen Preschool in Botkyrka

Reggio and the power of words - a blogpost from Without Windows.

Learning for Life - here you can follow Kierna's 4 week adventure with the Churchill Fellowship - learning about migrant children and the early years in Berlin, Norrköping and Stockholm.

Children's Rights - Barnens Rättigheter (The future of preschools, part 3)

(på svenska efter bilden)

It seems like quite a coincidence that as I write this series of posts about the future of preschool, with a focus on democratic learning and  the whole child, that Sweden has just made the decision that the articles agreed upon in the convention of children's rights is to become Swedish law from 1st January 2020.

So what does this mean for the future of preschools in Sweden... that are already obliged to follow the articles from the children's convention...

I am a very strong believer in the rights of children... well in the rights of all people... but the problem with making this law is that the implications can be rather drastic... or at best might mean little change at all.

I have been reading various articles this morning... and far from all are positive about this decision... not because they do not believe in the rights of children, but because they do... and they feel that this is a shallow move done to please the popular masses, rather than a genuine move to ensure the rights of children. The reason given is that the articles are too vague and leave to much to be interpreted, and therefore the children are at the mercy of adults and their ability to interpret the text. And when I see the massive variety in how the Swedish preschool curriculum is interpreted today that is actually a terrifying thing... there are preschools that do amazing work with children, but there are those that have interpreted the curriculum in a different manner and the quality is far from desirable...
The critics wish that children's rights are protected by more relevant laws, laws that support children in a Swedish context based on knowledge gained from experiences here in Sweden (and elsewhere).

So how will it impact the preschool and the school of the future... this new law?

Well article two is about that children should not be discriminated against and article three is about ensuring the best for each child...
Just in these two articles many preschools (and even more so schools) are going to struggle upholding the law - as a mother of autistic children I can see the difference between a child that receives  what is best and one that is not for the best... one of my children has received the support she needs cognitively (she did not get adequate support in her previous school socially - as there was a great deal of homophobic slurs penetrating the school atmosphere... as well as sexism racism etc... and despite the school trying to intervene, these were more events than genuine work with the social climate) - my other child with autism is forced to go to a school that is ill-equipped to meet his needs - the law in Sweden makes it compulsary for a child to attend school regardless if it is "the best interests of the child" or not... My son is bullied by class-mates, teachers and the system that fails to provide an education that he can access... so does this mean that in 2020 the school is breaking the law? technically they should be following the child convention now - and yet it has little impact on my child and thousands of other children (I am a member of several Swedish support groups for parents of autistic and ADHD children - and most seem to have the same story... and the tragic part is listening to the stories of these parents in international groups... this is a worldwide failing to meet the needs of children..)
I have worked and visited preschools over the years that have also failed to meet the needs of these children... and this idea of equal value is such a surface thing that I sometimes want to scream. it is nearly always about making the "different" child understand and adapt to the norm, and far too seldom about supporting the whole group to understand and adapt to each other... to expand the norm and to create a real inclusive environment where all are really equally valued.

Don't get me wrong.
There is so much good with the Swedish preschool. There are many many amazing educators working with children - to support the children in the learning, development and being a part of our shared world.
but we also need to recognize the fact that preschool and school is an institution, this I have written in my last two posts about the future of preschool (all links at the bottom of the page). Preschool is primarily an institution to provide a service for the parents... and within the walls their are educators fighting and working tirelessly for the rights of children... their right to be seen, to be valued, to play, to learn, to their identity etc
But if we want to create a place of democratic learning we need to accept the fact that far from all children choose to attend preschool or school. We can attempt to make it as democratic as possible within the walls - we can even try to knock down those walls somewhat - but for it to be truly democratic the children would have chosen to be there.
This does not mean that children do not enjoy their time in preschool, by far the great majority that I have ever worked with have enjoyed coming to preschool (maybe not always for the long hours some have had)
When the educators from the teacher training course I held in Jenin, Palestine, came to Stockholm last year they kept repeating, with heads shaking, that it was child abuse to have children in preschools for such long days.
When I did my peer-reviewed reading about quality in preschool (for my masters) I read frequently about the length of time children should have access to early years settings... as it was clear that access was beneficial... but just about all research I read stated that three hours was enough, more than that did not have more benefit and that over 6-8 hours it could be detrimental.
Swedish preschools are open for 12 hours a day... this is to meet the needs of the working parents - not the children.
Most of Sweden allows children who have parents at home with a younger sibling 3 hours a day at preschool... except Stockholm, which used to have 6 hours a day, but now offers 12 hours a day. If research says 3 hours is enough to stimulate a child, then why the extra hours.
Sure, if a child is at risk at home then preschool is in the child's best interest... but should we treat every child as if they are at risk.
In my twenty-five years of working in Swedish preschools I have seen a shift from parents seeing preschool (or daycare before 1998) as a support to their family life to now seeing preschool as a must do and asking permission to have their children at home. For me the children should have the right to be with their parents as their primary caregiver... but for some children with long hours preschool has become their primary caregiver.
Only ten years ago the fashion in Swedish preschools was to take away keyworkers... all children were all educators responsibility... we were encouraged not to create those special relationships that research informs us are so essential in children's neurological development. I referred to Jools Page yesterday and "Professional Love" - but we can also refer to Mine Conkbayir, Alison Gopnik etc etc about the need for genuine relationships for children to feel safe and to enable learning and development.
If we are talking about in the best interest of children - then we need to be investing more in preschools and schools so that the educators get the right training, that the group sizes are adequate for the needs of the children...
for instance my son thrived in his first year of preschool, as it was him, an amazing educator who developed a loving and respectful atmosphere for him and the two other children (three children in the last 3 months of the year)... then he started in a larger group - now there were 20 children and four teachers... still brilliant ratios for children aged 2-6 - and the preschool was ONLY open between 8:30 and 16:30 (it was a parent co-operative and we made the decision that the children came first, not our work) - and while my daughters thrived my son struggled. It was too many people, to many transitions (which had been more of a flow when only 3 children - but are more structured when there are more) - there was too much stimulus. 
I think I cried most mornings as I left him there (being brave at the hand over stage - but breaking down half way to work - where I then started working with other children his age... at the time it made no sense... the state gave me money to put my child into preschool so that I could work in a preschool... it would have been nice to have had that money to stay at home and give him the same care and stimulation I was giving other people's children)...

Yesterday I wrote about how philosophy with children created a learning environment that was democratic and respectful, and that the whole week had to meet the needs of the whole child... in other words the philosophy sessions I did with them was not just about verbal communication - it was about communicating with the whole child. But it also taught the educator how to become a facilitator rather than a teacher... that it goes from teacher-centred to child-centred.
The word "undervisning" (teaching) will be introduced into the  Swedish curriculum, where only teachers will be able to hold these "lessons" - in a time when it is difficult to find preschool teachers, and some settings will be in the position of having too few teachers to be able to uphold the quality expected of them.

Other breaking news recently is that there is going to be reshuffling/changes in the school authority and school inspection (they cover preschools as well) - how will a new system be able to support the preschool in transition? Especially as already today, there are far to many setting that are not providing the quality they should be, for a variety of reasons (and mostly I feel it is poor leadership, lack of resources and not possessing the right competence for the situation they find themselves in - and too many people in preschools that have no childcare/teacher training at all - which means that those that do have need to support co-workers as well as the children and parents they work with)

Children's rights are so important. They are something that I strive for in my work... to enable them to see, know, understand and use their rights - and to be able to use their rights wisely and as part of a community, not in a bubble to make themselves feel good at the cost of others. Again this is why philosophy with children is so great... as it is about expressing personal opinions at the same time as learning about the opinions of others and how we are stronger together.

To be honest I am somewhat surprised by this post... I thought it was going to be a big celebration post of children's rights... and in a way it is... I am so happy that children's rights are being valued...
but I want this to be real, to be genuine and that these rights are truly valued and are not simply window dressing.

Det verkar som ett tillfällighet att när jag skriver denna serie av inlägg om förskolans framtid, med fokus på demokratiskt lärande och hela barnet, har Sverige just fattat beslutet att barnkonventionen ska bli svensk lag från 1 januari 2020. Så vad betyder detta för framtidens förskolor i Sverige ... som redan är skyldiga att följa artiklarna från barnkonventionen ... Jag tror starkt på barns rättigheter ... alla människors rättigheter ... men problemet med att göra denna lag är att konsekvenserna kan vara ganska drastiska ... eller kan betyda liten förändring alls. Jag har läst olika artiklar i morse ... och långt ifrån alla är positiva till det här beslutet ... inte för att dom inte tror på barns rättigheter, utan för att dom gör det ... och dom tycker att det här är ett ytligt beslut gjort för att behaga massorna, snarare än ett äkta drag för att säkerställa barnens rättigheter. Anledningen till detta är att artiklarna är för vaga och lämnar för mycket för att tolkas, och därför är barnen beroende på vuxna och deras förmåga att tolka texten. Och när jag ser den stora variationen i hur den svenska förskoleplanen tolkas idag är det verkligen en skrämmande sak ... det finns förskolor som gör fantastiskt arbete med barn, men det finns de som har tolkat läroplanen på ett annat sätt och kvaliteten är långt ifrån önskvärt ... Kritikerna önskar att barns rättigheter skyddas av mer relevanta lagar, lagar som stöder barn i ett svenskt sammanhang baserat på kunskaper från erfarenheter här i Sverige (och på andra ställen). Så hur kommer det att påverka förskolan och framtida skolan ... den här nya lagen? Artikel 2 handlar om att barn inte ska diskrimineras och artikel tre handlar om att säkerställa det bästa för varje barn ... Bara i dessa två artiklar kommer många förskolor (och ännu mer skolor) att kämpa för att upprätthålla lagen - som en mor till autistiska barn kan jag se skillnaden mellan ett barn som får det bästa och det som inte får det bästa. .. en av mina barn har fått det stöd hon behöver kognitivt (hon fick inte tillräckligt med stöd socialt i sin grundskola - eftersom det fanns en hel del homofobisk fulord som trängde in i skolatmosfären ... liksom sexism och rasism osv. och trots att skolan försökte ingripa, var det mer som händelser än äkta arbete med det sociala klimatet). - Mitt andra barn med autism tvingas gå till en skola som är dålig utrustad för att möta hans behov - lagen i Sverige tvingar barn att gå i skolan oavsett om det är "i barnets bästa" eller inte ... Min son är mobbad av klasskompisar, lärare och systemet som misslyckas med att ge en utbildning som han kan komma åt ... det innebär också att skolan år 2020 bryta lagen? tekniskt borde de följa barnkonventionen nu - och ändå har det liten inverkan på mitt barn och tusentals andra barn (jag är medlem i flera svenska stödgrupper för föräldrar till autistiska och ADHD-barn - och de flesta verkar ha samma upplevelse av förskolan och särskilt skolan ... och den tragiska delen är när man lyssnar på historierna från föräldrar i internationella grupper ... man inser att det här är en världsomfattande misslyckande att tillgodose behoven hos alla barn ..) Jag har jobbat och besökt förskolor genom åren som också har misslyckats med att möta dessa barns behov ... och den här idén om lika värde är alldeles för ofta så ytlig att jag ibland vill skrika. Det handlar nästan alltid om att det "annorlunda" barnet måste förstå och anpassa sig till normen och alltför sällan om att stödja hela gruppen för att förstå och anpassa sig till varandra ... för att utöka normen och skapa en verklig inkluderande miljö där alla är verkligen lika värda. Misstolka mig inte. Det finns så mycket bra med den svenska förskolan. Det finns många många fantastiska lärare som arbetar med barn - för att stödja barnen i lärandet, utvecklingen och att vara en del av vår gemensamma värld. men vi måste också erkänna det faktum att förskola och skola är en institution, det här har jag skrivit i mina sista två inlägg om framtiden för förskola (alla länkar längst ner på sidan). Förskola är främst en institution för att tillhandahålla en tjänst för föräldrarna ... och inom sina väggar finns pedagoger som kämpar och arbetar outtröttligt för barns rättigheter ... deras rätt att ses, värderas, leka, lära, rätt till deras identitet osv Men om vi vill skapa en plats för demokratiskt lärande måste vi acceptera det faktum att långt ifrån alla barn väljer att gå i förskola eller på skolan. Vi kan försöka göra det så demokratiskt som möjligt inom väggarna - vi kan till och med försöka slå ner dessa väggar på något vis - men för att det ska vara verkligen demokratiskt skulle barnen ha valt att vara där.
Det betyder inte att barn inte tycker om sin tid i förskolan, den överlägset stora majoriteten som jag någonsin har jobbat med har gillat att komma till förskolan (kanske inte alltid de långa timmarna som vissa har haft) När pedagogerna från lärarutbildningen i Jenin, Palestina, kom till Stockholm förra året, sade dom ofta, att det var barnmisshandel att ha barn i förskolor under så långa dagar. När jag gjorde min peer-reviewed läsning om kvalitet i förskolan (för mina masters) läste jag ofta om hur lång tid barnen borde ha tillgång till förskolan... det var tydligt att tillgång var fördelaktig ... men all forskning som jag läste uppgav att tre timmar var tillräckligt, mer än det hade inte mer nytta och att över 6-8 timmar kan det vara skadligt. Svenska förskolor är öppna i 12 timmar om dagen ... detta är för att möta de arbetande föräldrars behov - inte barnens. De flesta kommuner av Sverige tillåter barn som har föräldrar hemma med en yngre syskon 3 timmar om dagen på förskolan ... förutom Stockholm, som brukade ha 6 timmar om dagen, men erbjuder nu 12 timmar om dagen. Om forskning säger att 3 timmar är tillräckligt för att stimulera ett barn, varför de extra timmarna? Visst, om ett barn är vid risk hemma, är förskola i barnets bästa intresse ... men ska vi behandla alla barn som om de är i fara? Under min tjugofem år inom svenska förskolor har jag sett hur det har skiftat från föräldrar som ser förskola (eller daghem före 1998) som ett stöd för deras familjeliv för att nu se förskolan som ett måste och begära tillåtelse att sina barn få vara lediga. För mig borde barnen ha rätt att vara med sina föräldrar som sin främsta vårdgivare ... men för vissa barn med långa timmar har förskolan blivit sin primära vårdgivare. För bara tio år sedan var det "mode" i svenska förskolor att ta bort "key workers" ... alla barn var alla lärares ansvar ... vi uppmanades att inte skapa de speciella relationer som forskningen informerar oss om är så viktigt för barns neurologiska utveckling. Jag hänvisade till Jools Page igår och "Professional Love" - ​​men vill också referera till Mine Conkbayir, Alison Gopnik etc etc om behovet av äkta relationer för barn att känna sig trygga och för att möjliggöra lärande och utveckling. Om vi ​​pratar om "i barnets bästa intresse" - då behöver vi investera mer i förskolor och skolor så att lärarna får rätt utbildning, att gruppens storlek är tillräckligt för barnens behov ... (det är också tolkningbar) till exempel min son blomstrade i sitt första år av förskola, det var bara honom, en fantastisk lärare som utvecklade en kärleksfull och respektfull atmosfär för honom och de två andra barnen (tre barn under de senaste tre månaderna) ... men när han började i en större grupp vis 2 år - fanns det 20 barn och fyra lärare ... fortfarande fantastisk förhållanden för barn i åldrarna 2-6 - och förskolan var endast öppen mellan kl. 8.30 och 16.30 (det var en förälderskooperativ och vi fattade beslutet att barnen kom först, inte vårt arbete) - och medan mina döttrar trivdes min son kämpade. Det var för många människor, för många övergångar (som hade varit mer av ett flöde när endast 3 barn fanns - men är mer strukturerad när det finns fler) - det var för mycket stimulans. Jag tror att jag grät de flesta morgon när jag lämnade honom där (att vara modig vid överlämningen - men bröt ner halvvägs till jobbet - där jag började arbeta med andra barn i hans ålder ... det kändes så meningslös .. staten gav mig pengar för att mitt barn fick gå till förskola så att jag kunde arbeta i förskolan ... det skulle ha varit trevligt att ha fått pengarna att stanna hemma och ge honom samma omsorg och stimulans som jag gav andra människors barn - det skulle har varit i mitt barns bäste intresse istället för vara på ett ställe som vill inte ha honom - jag fick höra från andra föräldrar hur deras barn berättade att en visst lärare inte gillade min son)...

Igår skrev jag om hur filosofi med barn skapade en läromiljö som var demokratisk och respektfull, och att hela veckan var tvungen att tillgodose behoven hos hela barnet ... med andra ord de filosofiska samtal handlade inte bara om verbala kommunikation - det handlade om att kommunicera med hela barnet. Men det lärde också pedagogen hur man blir en facilitator snarare än en lärare ... att den går från lärarcentrerad till barncentrerad. Ordet "undervisning" kommer att introduceras i den svenska läroplanen, där endast lärare kan hålla dessa "lektioner" - i en tid då det är svårt att hitta förskollärare, vissa förskolor kommer att ha det svårt att få lärare för att kunna upprätthålla den kvalitet som förväntas av dom. Andra nyheter som nyligen har skett är att det kommer att bli förändringar i skolmyndigheten och skolinspektion - hur kommer ett nytt system att kunna stödja förskolan i övergång? Särskilt som redan idag finns det långt för många förskolor som inte ger den kvalitet de borde av olika skäl (och för det mesta anser jag att det är dåligt ledarskap, brist på resurser samt brist av rätt kompetens för situationen - och för många personer i förskolor som inte har någon barn/lärarutbildning alls - vilket innebär att de som har behöver stödja medarbetare samt barn och föräldrar som de arbetar med) Barnens rättigheter är så viktiga. Dom är något jag strävar efter i mitt arbete ... för att barnen ska kunna se, känna, förstå och använda sina rättigheter - och kunna använda sina rättigheter klokt och som en del av ett samhälle, inte i en bubbla för att må bra själv på bekostnad av andra. Återigen är det därför som filosofi med barn är så bra ... det handlar om att uttrycka personliga åsikter samtidigt som man lär sig om andras åsikter och hur vi är starkare tillsammans. För att vara ärlig blir jag lite förvånad över det här inlägget ... Jag trodde att det skulle bli en stor festpost för barns rättigheter ... och på ett sätt är det ... Jag är så glad att barnens rättigheter värderas. .. men jag vill att detta ska vara verkligt, att vara äkta och att dessa rättigheter verkligen värderas och inte bara en skyltfönster.

länkar/links children's rights... the articles
Barnens rättigheter
Dagens Samhälle - barnkonvention till lag... skadar Sverige
Bris... äntligen lag
http://www.mineconkbayir.co.uk/
The future of preschools... part 1 - includes images from my visit to Backa Friskola
The future of preschools part 2 - focus on philosophy with children, questioning standardisation and links to Jools Page and Professional Love.

I also recommend looking at my posts about Original Learning... as all this thinking connects to this approach to education... let knock down the walls of current stifled education institutions and replace them with places for Original Learning.

NPF-barnen

Jag har precis kommit tillbaka från en introduktionsmöte för föräldrar med ASD barn (igen) och jag blir både glad och upprörd.
Glad att det finns stöd tillgänglig...
Upprörd för att det ta alldeles för lång tid för att få den hjälp och stöd som barnet, familjen och förskolan/skolan behöver för att kunna bemöta barnet på ett bra sätt.

Det tar tid innan man ens kan få en diagnos... först måste man bevisa and förskolan/skolan har gjort anpassningar och det är inte bara något tillfälligt... sedan väntetid för att träffa BUP för att träffas fler gånger för att bestämma om man ska göra en utredning... sedan blir det väntetid för att börja utredningen - sedan ta utredningen fler månader...

För BÅDE mina barn som har fått diagnos - det har tagit minst 18 månader från första samtalet till diagnosen.

Sedan får man remissen till habilitering... först en introduktionskurs - för att blir informerad att man måste göra föräldrar-grundkursen  för att kunna ta del av habilitering... det är maj nu... det finns INGA kurstillfälle med plats till hösten... och det är först till kvarn.

Det betyder att det är över 2 år från att man har sökt hjälp - för att det inte funka - till att man kan börja få den hjälp och stöd man är i desperat behov av.

Det är för länge. Under den tiden kan så mycket skada ske - det kräver tid att fixa skadan utöver den stöd som barnet redan är i behov av.

Helt enkelt vad vi behöver är förskolor och skolor som är npf-säkrad - att barnen få den bemötande dom behöver. Skapar man en miljö anpassad för npf barn är det något som gynnar alla barn. Att inte överstimulera, att det finns tid för avkoppling, det finns pedagoger som förstå hur deras egen beteende påverka barnen, att det finns rutiner med utrymme att utmana flexibilitet.. det är meningsfullt för barnen osv osv osv

Alldeles för många pedagoger fatta kunskap om npf barn (alla verka har lite, och sedan tror att dom ha kunskap... men VAD är detta kunskap, och vet dom hur man ska applicera den till praktiken... eller om det är ens lämplig för den situation och barnen man möter?)
Det var tydligt i rummet, med cirka 100 föräldrar att alla upplevde denna frustration att det var brist på förståelse - riktig förståelse. Samt brist på tid för att göra något åt detta.

Grejen är - om man inte satsa en massa tid att utbilda ALLA pedagoger i hela skolan/förskolan - att man diskutera hur man ska bemöta npf barn, hur man ska ta hand om sina egna känslor, hur man kan anpassa miljön, hur man kan anpassa undervisningen osv...

jag fundera på hur Starbucks i USA ska stänga 8,000 butiker för att kunna utbilda personalen i anti-bias bemötande. Jag tycker att något liknande måste ske i Sverige... att stänga alla förskolor och skolor så att ALLA personal ska få rätt utbildning för att kunna bemöta npf-barn - inte bara lärare, men alla som jobba i köket, städ, kontor osv i skolan. Alla ska veta hur man ska bemöta barn för att undvika onödig stress (visst är stress an naturlig del av livet, och lite stress är inte skadlig, men dom flesta npf-barn leva i en konstant ström av stress, saker som inte stressa dom flesta kan orsaka en meltdown för ett npf-barn).

Här finns en länk till Källbrinkskolan i Huddinge - som är en kommunal skola som har npf-säkrad sin skola. Det finns länkar till filmer och andra information som kan hjälpa er komma igång.

vill ni har någon annan att bolla med... så kontakta mig...

På mötet idag berättade han om en unik person som är ASD själv, som har ASD barn och har jobbat med npf barn... den person kunde ge tydligen bra insikt som en del av grundkursen...
Jag vill påpeka att jag är också en sådan unik person... Jag har ASD, har npf barn och har arbetat men npf-barn på både förskolan och skolan.
Jag vill bidra att hjälpa andra att förändra skolsystemet så att den kan VERKLIGEN uppnår alla mål och skollag - att alla barn har rätt till si utbildning... och att man måst börja tänka om för att skapa en förskola/skola som kan bemöta npf-barn på lika villkor som nt-barn

alldeles för ofta får npf-barnen inte den kärlek, den värde som dom behöver, ingen lyssna på deras sätt att kommunicera och tolka världen - därför får dom inte samma plats för lek och utforskande - och inte samma möjlighet för att lära 

npf - neuro-psykiatriska funktionsnedsättning  - ASD, ADHD, tourettes , OCD, dyspraxia, dyslexia osv
nt - neuro-typiska (dvs barn utan npf).

jag kommer i framtiden delar mer information kring detta...

The story of a clean classroom

I wrote this post for Teachwire about messy play within a Reggio Emilia Approach setting... that it is not just about pristine classrooms. This was a year ago, and I made the decision to share it on my facebook page yesterday... so I found it interesting to read a shared post about "clean classrooms" today...

Every "clean" classroom I've ever experienced in my observations (and in my time teaching) is not the product of well-behaved students. It's the product of a naggy teacher.

Children learn to equate the absence of clutter as "neat", "clean", and "organized". We tend to forget that organization starts in you. You see something that can be more efficient for you, so you set it up in a way that makes sense to you, then you maintain it because it works for you.

When you've organized a classroom and you seek to keep it organized, you're asking children to see things from your perspective and try to make sense of it, even if it just doesn't make sense to them, because it makes sense to you. That's pretty selfish, and definitely not anything I tend to see teachers reciprocating for the children they teach.

In a preschool classroom, when a teacher says "pick up" I watch what the kids do, not what the kids accomplish. If you look for what the kids accomplish, you'll see that things are no longer strewn out on the floor or haphazardly thrown across tables and shelves, and eventually it looks like organization--but is it?

If you watch what the kids do, you see them pushing things from the shelf into the crevice between the shelf and the wall. You see things get picked up from the floor and plopped into any open bin. You see kids hiding or even trashing toys because they've learned that the absence of clutter is what's expected when someone says it's time to clean up.

This teacher thinks that their kids have learned to value organization and that they've learned that cleanliness and tidiness is important in life, when really, this teacher has bestowed upon children a bad habit that's really, really hard to break.

I remember in the first grade, my desk (a small, one-seater desk with a compartment for books and utensils) was so "disorganized", my teacher singled me out in front of all of my peers, screamed at me, picked the desk up off the ground like The Hulk, and Hulk-smashed it onto the ground so everything in it flew out onto the floor. There was so much clutter in it, such a reaction seemed necessary to her. She thought she taught me a lesson--that she wouldn't tolerate my disorganization... by literally making the mess 100x bigger. And what was I expected to do in front of all of my peers? Put it all back in the desk. No practical assistance on what she wants it to look like. No guidance to help me get rid of trash I didn't need. That didn't make me an organized person, but it did desensitize me to the idea that organization and success aren't correlated.

I'm not being "too easy on kids" or engaging in wishful thinking when I say they'll pick up and organize things when they're ready to. I see it all of the time. When a kid steps on a lego and picks them up off the floor to avoid it, I see it. When a kid knocks a bin off the shelf and notices there were cars in it when it's the bin for blocks (maybe he doesn't pick it up, but he NOTICES it), I see it. In those moments where the mess is so overwhelming that nobody can move without breaking things and I sweep everything into a pile, start sorting things myself, and kids join in to help me, I see it.

Disorder is part of the culture of childhood. It's part of their culture we don't have the right to seek to change. Children are not wild animals we are charged with the task of taming--we're not that important. Children are also not premature businesspeople we are charged with the task of preparing for the workforce--we're not that unimportant. Everything they move, place, or scatter is there for a reason, even when it seems silly and ridiculous. As they explore routines and patterns--as their neural pathways start to form organized connections--they start to see value in certain forms of organization. And they may never see our ways as the right way.

And that's okay, because organization is about YOU, and what works for you--singular, you.

If you've got to clean up, don't expect kids to be doing it if you're not doing it.

If you've got to clean up, do it yourself, while they play, once you know the kids have lost interest or moved on (like workers at a Children's Museum do!).

If you've got to clean up, be there, watch them, thank them, and don't force them. Don't be my first grade teacher.

That's how you really teach kids to be clean. (Travis Manley)

I feel that children have a responsibility to each other - I always talked about it with them - why we put things back when we were finished. Because I believe in the competence of children. I know that if they are given the chance to understand why then they will see their play differently... not just their own play in isolation, but there play as part of a whole series of play that intertwine with each other.
We are responsible to create a play space for others - so that others knew where things were - and that meant even they would too as they could rely on the process. Of course MY role as educator has the bottom line responsibility to ensure there is space for the children to play... I often tidy things away as I see children playing, in an invisible manner to ensure their play continues and they have space... or ensure that things are not left out that can present a danger (risk for a little hurt is OK, its part of the process of understanding that when things get messy there is a risk of stepping on something and it hurts, or tripping, or sliding or whatever... or that things get broken... but that leads me to a possible future dialogue about how so many children are not the slightest bit bothered about breaking stuff... they shrug their shoulders and say we can buy another... it does not feel like a sustainable approach to play... but it is part of the whole theory of not putting blame on a child for breaking something as it might break their self-esteem.... but as I wrote, I will save that for another post)

As educators we need to be a part of the process - always helping - it did take some convincing others that us clearing up too was not taking learning or responsibility away and that it was part of the democratic classroom approach - if we want help then we help others - in this way we could be role models - often I heard from children "I did not play here" as a way to say, no I don't want to help - and I would answer “no I did not play here but I help anyway so that it is ready for play tomorrow or later or...” - I would never force them, but would remind them that help is a two way thing.Boys tended to be slower to catch on to this and girls more eager - so I would say to the girls I see you have done your share you can go do something else and let the boys finish off - in this way the stereotypes of good girls who tidy up is broken - and I feel that IS important 

I wonder how this impacts how educators react to the "clean classroom" concept... I mean in my many years working in early years settings it has been nearly always men that have challenged the whole order and tidy idea... let there be mess... Is this because as children boys always got off tidying up because "boys will be boys" while girls strived to be good and show their worth by pleasing the teacher by tidying up. So girls learn that tidy and order is part of pleasing others, a part of being socially approved, while boys never got to participate in this learning in the same way? And don't you in your head envision a female teacher rather than a male in the text above??? I am not saying the girls have got it right and the boys have missed out on something... what I am writing is that both have missed out on something.

Of course I would send any child- boy or girl - on if they had contributed enough - not like this every time but enough for the children to get an idea that helping others is a part of what a society does - and that if I want help I also need to help others.

Some children have required so much order - but for me to create it for them in their own personal chaos - others needed more freedom and flow but most children are in the middle which makes sense, as children are learning to connect and master left and right brain thinking as a whole - it’s going to swing - we want flexibility (chaos) and order (rigidity) but too much of either is going to limit - so the classroom needs to be able to offer both not only as a way to support the children but also to challenge them.

over the years I have had colleagues that have loved chaos and been vehement anti tidying and also colleagues who are order freaks - and everything in between. Children are just as diverse - so it’s about trying to find balance and trying to create the space that suits the group/class

Being npf, having three npf children and having worked a whole load with npf children over the years has lead me to understand that chaos and mess can be extra stressors - extra sensory input - so helping these children find routines to tidy up to de-clutter is essential. So the above statement that classrooms are tidied for the teacher's sake is rather a general sweeping statement that is also, I feel, incorrect. But I guess there are some educators out there that are not listening to the children and the clean classroom is about control rather than support and challenge.

Tidy up is a part of math - sorting - sometimes a part of film making - we made stop motion films of the tidying up - they were hilarious to watch together afterwards. Tidying up is not just about learning how to organise... it is about empathy, responsibility, cause and effect, sorting (get the children involved in how things should be sorted/tidied), collaboration skills, memory (where do things go), democracy (we all participate and contribute) - this means the teacher/educator is a part of the process not an observer - messes in preschool are always "ours".

Once a child I worked with had been let into the sensory room on his own (after I had left for home) the child had the most marvellous time throwing the lentils rice etc etc all over the place making it rain (at least this is how I imagine it as I found lentils etc on the highest of shelves - hahaha). What saddened me was that my colleague did not tidy it, even though he knew that I arrived just before morning gathering the next day and that that was the room we sat in to chat about what we would be doing during the day... there was a layer of rice and lentils on the floor. So first I had to deal with the shock that my colleague thought the fact that since I had introduced the sensory table it must my responsibility to clean up (not all staff were keen on those sensory tables you know) - then I had to make a decision about where are we going to have our gathering. I made the decision to postpone the meeting and ask the child to come and help me sweep the room. Not with anger or disappointment but just a simple matter of fact please can you help me. he came, he helped. I asked if he had a good time - which I think he must have for so much to be everywhere - he shook his head, I assume it was because he thought this was the right answer to give. I then said it was fine to throw the sensory stuff around, if everyone in the room was in agreement, and as long as he helped to clean up afterwards... or maybe we could take something outside instead that birds could eat afterwards... he opted for the second option... 


 "Messes" are often left out to continue another day, sometimes weeks, if it is an active play area. In fact for a while I took a series of photos called "Traces of Play" - as i loved seeing those small/large traces of play that some call a mess... its like the image of a dandelion  with the meme - some see a weed others see a wish.
Below are 8 photos from the Traces of Play series... things I found strewn/constructed/left with no children in sight...

I have images of BIG messes of a whole room littered with play - as all the contents of the preschools seemed to have ended up in one room... but the most marvellous play had happened in the process of that. By leaving the mess to the next day the children could decide whether it was play worthy or not... they made the decision to clean up first... because that was not the play for the day... apparently.

Undervisning i förskolan - del 4

Nu är det dags att återvända till min läsning av Skolverkets publikation om Undervisning i Förskolan.  Under den senaste veckan har mycket hänt här hemma min dotter är nu "officiellt" har diagnosen autism... men den kallas för aspergers igen... något som BUP berättade inte fanns längre 4 år sedan när min son fick diagnosen autism/ADHD. Jag frågade varför och det visa sig att samhället hänger inte med, så dom har bestämt att återvända till aspergers så att alla förstå.
Inte att jag tycker att alla förstå hur man ska bemöta högfungerande autistiska barn bara för att man kalla det aspergers igen. (eye-roll)

När jag undersöka ordet undervisning jag har alltid detta med mig... hur skapa vi en undervisning som är tillgänglig för alla. I kapitlet "Undervisning i förskolan - ett kvalitetsperspektiv" av Sonja Sheridan och Pia Williams står det

Det förutsätter att förskollärare har kunskap om varje barns förutsättningar för lärande, deras kunnande och förändrade kunnande, liksom behov och intressen. Detta eftersom de behöver veta vad barnen kan och hur de förstår något för att kunna leda dem i deras fortsatta lärande. (s54) 

Men under alla mina år har jag träffat gång på gång en brist av förståelse för hur npf barn lär, förstå och upplever världen runt omkring. Jag upplever att både inom lärarutbildning för förskolan och skolan det finns inte tillräckligt mycket tid eller kunskap som kan förbereda lärare för att kunna erbjuda högkvalitet undervisning för alla barn, bara dom neuro-typiska barnen dvs normen.

Man behöver inte läsa länge innan man inser, eller få läsa orden - om man anpassa undervisning/verksamheten för npf barn gynnar det alla barn. Man sänker inte nivån för att erbjuda en tillgänglig förskola - det blir bara mer tydlig för alla. utifrån detta borde det finnas mycket mer tid under lärarutbildningen för att kunna förstå barn med autism, ADHD och andra diagnoser, tillstånd osv där en brist av förståelse för att anpassa skapa hiner för barnen i deras lek, lärande och utveckling.

Det är en daglig frustration att se hur min son blir uppfattad på ett sätt under sina förskoledagar och nu skoldagar... som skiljer enormt med hur folk utanför skolan uppfatta honom. Förskolan var inte roligt - dagligen fick jag höra saker om hur han hade inte gjort det, eller hade reagerat så, eller sade det... alltid något negativ, aldrig någon förståelse för att han faktiskt hade svårt... alltid när jag frågade om BUP fick jag svaret nej det är inget fel med honom... så till slut jag struntade i förskolan och sökte själv till BUP... sedan han var 2 år jag misstänkte antingen autism eller ADHD - men var inte riktigt beredd för både två.
Jag vet att förskolan vill vara snäll. Dom vill inte sätta på en etikett... men problemet var att dom kunde inte bemöta min son heller för att dom vägrade läser instruktionerna... om du fatta vad jag menar.
När han var 5 år fick han en ny lärare... när jag hämtade honom hon berättade om dom roliga saker som han hade gjort under dagen. Jag grät. Hon tittade på mig något förvånad... så jag berättade att det var första gången jag hade hämtat och fick höra något trevligt om min son istället för att höra om hans misstag.

Sexårsverksamheten var hur bra som helst. Pedagoger som såg min son som han är.
Skolan... bleh... det är en helt annan tragisk historia som vi fortfarande försöka handskas.

Men jag undrar... hade han haft pedagoger på förskolan som hade vågat bemöta honom och acceptera honom... nej, det är inte a frikort för att bete hur som helst... men man kan inte förvänta att ett barn med autism/ADHD att kunna reagera på samma sätt som normen heller... man måste göra anpassningar som underlätta.

Till exempel, jag jobbade med en pojke som klarade inte av att bli blöt (förutom när man badade eller tvätta händerna... så länge man inte skvättade).  För att undvika meltdowns på regniga dagar tog jag in honom först innan golvet blev blöt, jag tog av alla hans yttrekläder (trots att jag visste att han kunde vanligvis) och lyftade honom till en torr plats innan resten av gruppen fick komma in... vi berättade för alla, alla barn kunde förstå och vill hjälpa till, pojken vill också ha den förståelse - det var mycket mindre pinsamt att få lite hjälp än att skrika okontrollerbart i 30 minuter. Jag såg till att det finna badrumsmattor där vi tvättade händerna så att det blev inte små pölar på golvet för att barn skvättade eller lekte med vatten - jag kollade regelbundet för att se att det var torrt och stressfi - alla barn uppskattade detta.
Vid lunch och någon skulle spilla vi alla hjälpte till för att se till golvet var torr.
Under lek situationer jobbade vi med hans flexibilitet kring att blir blöt - inte under vardagen... men under lek när han var inte det minsta stressad... eftersom övergånger är en stress i sig. Det fungerade. Bit för bit hade han mer kontroll, vill själv ta av blöta kläder osv.
Han fick alltid skrika så länge han vill... skrik och meltdowns är inte ett problem för mig... men jag ser att dom komma i vägen för barnens egen lek och interaktioner med andra.

Men jag har tur. Jag har mycket erfarenhet med barn som inte passa in i normen. Hemma och på förskolor där jag har arbetat har vi försökt skapa en bredare norm istället för att ändra barnets beteende.
Jag vill stödja varje barn och varje barngrupp för att kunna uppnå deras potential - och det kräver att jag har "kunskap om barnens förutsättningar" och hur jag ska bete mig för att bemöta varje barn på rätt sätt. Samt hur jag ska ändra miljön och vilka erfarenheter jag ska erbjuda barnen... osv.

 För att undervisa och utmana barns lärande inom läroplanens målområden behöver förskolläraren bland annat kunskaper i:

• ämnet och innehållet

• hur barn lär beroende på ålder och erfarenhet 

• vad som är specifikt för barns lärande inom det aktuella målområdet 

• hur de skapar villkor i verksamheten för barn att utveckla kunnande inom olika målområden utifrån förskolans tradition och arbetssätt. 

Undervisningen i förskolan blir då en fråga om vad förskollärarna i lärandesammanhang vill att barnen ska ges möjlighet att utveckla ett kunnande om samt hur mål, innehåll och aktiviteter är relaterade till varandra och till barnen. (s.50)

Eftersom undervisning ska ske inom lek det är viktigt för förskollärare att förstå hur man leka, hur den påverka barnets utveckling och lärande och hur man kan skapa lärande situationer inom lek. Men också förstår hur man som vuxen påverka leken... när man inspirera barnen egen lek och lärande - utmana den... eller när man kommer i vägen och ta över, omedvetet om sin egen makt och påverkan (dvs man tror att man gör det för barnens skull, men man har inte reflekterat tillräckligt mycket över hur man själv påverka situationen). Förskolan ska vara demokratiskt... så jag menar inte att man ska följa barnen... vad jag menar är att vi skapa tillit, respekt, öppenhet och en jämställd förhållningssätt inom barnens lek och lärande.

 En avgörande kompetens är därför förskollärares medvetenhet om sina egna värderingar och hur dessa i undervisningsprocessen påverkar barnets lärande. Utifrån ett barnperspektiv behöver de också ha kunskap om vad målen innebär för barnens lärande i förskolan och hur de kan konkretiseras som innehåll och aktiviteter. (s.54)

Igen jag återvänder till filosofiska samtal som ett bra sätt att bemöta läroplans mål av undervisning - se under... (bold text är min)

Enligt läroplanen ska förskolans innehåll och undervisning utformas så att barnen ges möjlighet att utveckla sin identitet, nyfikenhet och lust att leka och lära. Undervisningen i förskolan ska också leda till att barnen utvecklar sin förståelse för vad demokrati är, bland annat genom att de ges möjlighet att uttrycka sina tankar och åsikter, och därmed kunna påverka sin situation. Barnen ska också ges möjlighet att utveckla sin förmåga att ta ansvar för egna handlingar och förskolans miljö och kunna förstå och handla efter demokratiska principer genom att delta i olika former av samarbete och beslutsfattande. Det framgår tydligt att leken ska ha en särskild och framlyft roll i förskolan. Sammantaget ska barnen ges möjlighet att utveckla självständighet och tillit till sin egen förmåga, känna sig delaktiga i sin egen kultur och känna respekt för andras kulturer, samt utveckla kunskaper inom läroplanens samtliga målområden. Uppdraget är omfattande och om förskolan ska ge barnen möjlighet att utveckla kunskaper inom alla målområdena behöver förskollärarna använda aktiviteter och situationer under hela dagen (S52)

Det stora texten är viktigt för mig... det handla om lek... om människans ursprungliga lärande (original learning) - som konstigt nog google vill översätta till originalundervisning... snacka om ett perfekt begrepp för förskolan... lek är originalundervisning. (Än så länge har jag 16 inlägg om Original Learning - Originalundervisning)

 Samhällsdimensionen sätter också ramarna för undervisningen i form av: 

• tydliga mål och innehåll för undervisningen riktade mot både gruppen och individuella barn

• att lek, lärande och omsorg bildar en helhet i undervisningen 

• att barns kognitiva, sociala och emotionella lärande integreras i undervisningen 

• att undervisning och lärande är roligt i förskolan. (s53)

Originalundervisning kräver att vi förstå barnens lärprocesser, att vi förstå lek, att vi förstår vad är meningsfullt och varför, att vi förstå hur barnen samspela med andra och omvärlden osv

Teoretiskt utgår läroplanen från att kunskap skapas i relationen mellan människor och omvärld. Det innebär att barn i förskolan lär genom att kommunicera och samspela med andra barn och vuxna och med sin omgivning. Barnens meningsskapande, förändring av kunnande och utveckling av förmågor är därmed beroende av de villkor till lärande som skapas i förskolan. Undervisning handlar då om att som förskollärare skapa möjligheter för barn till erfarenheter och upplevelser som leder till lärande i riktning mot läroplansmålen. Avgörande är att undervisningen sker på ett sådant sätt att barnens lust till lärande utmanas och att barnen utvecklar en vilja och nyfikenhet till ny kunskap och i förlängningen till livslångt lärande. Det är huvudmannens och förskolechefens ansvar att se till att det finns nödvändig kompetens på varje avdelning. (s 53-54)

Jag avslutar inlägget med följande citat som påminna att undervisning också kräver att vi skapa en bra omsorg för att bygga tillit och lärande på.

 Förskolor av hög kvalitet utmärks av en undervisning som präglas av fysisk, emotionell och intellektuell närhet mellan förskollärarna och barnen. Barnen är delaktiga, utmanas och ingår i en kommunikativ gemenskap. Förskollärarna strävar efter att möta barnen i deras intentioner och skapar så kallade ”möjlighetsmöten” (Sheridan m.fl., 2009). Detta till skillnad mot förskolor som har en låg kvalitet och tycks sakna undervisning. Istället för att möta barnen i deras avsikter och agerande verkar det som om förskollärarna står utanför barnens aktiviteter, agerar parallellt med dem och blir engagerade först när de behöver reda ut uppkomna situationer och upprätthålla kontroll (Sheridan m.fl., 2009).  (54-55)

The story of a mother of a child with autism/ADHD

I am mad... so frustrated... so sad... so disheartened...

schools do not seem to be doing what they are supposed to be doing... learning is not for all...

the fact that we are STILL struggling to make my son's schooling situation work... that they STILL do not tell us about changes before they are made so that we can adequately prepare him, and then send messages home about how we, as parents, need to teach my son how to behave at school... I mean how many times, how many years, do we need to tell them that without adequate preparation he is not going to react well... I mean why blame us when they are making the mistake... we work out butts off to try and make it work... communicate changes at home so they know... which they ignore.

I have kept him off school on days when he is not able to manage anymore
and for the first time I have just kept him off school because i am so damn angry with the school's complete lack of collaboration to make it work... I mean if we collaborate then its going to be good for my son and the other children... but if the only focus is to make it good for the other children, and not collaborating with us... then we are never going to get anywhere...

and I care about the other children too... its just all the focus cannot be about fixing my son for the sake of them...

"an effective school" we keep getting told... "my masters - my research" we keep getting told... but effective for whom? Not my son that is for sure... is that research being used for my child and others with autism and ADHD - it doesn't seem the case... despite being told that the teachers do not have the competence to teach my son, not once have they been sent on competence training in this area...
despite me telling them that he learns through his interests - not once have they adjusted lessons - it's the same crap in a different room despite the school authority being clear in its documents that children with autism learn often best through their interests... and that training is essential... they are not even following the documents they should...

Since sweden has made the decision to make attending school a LEGAL REQUIREMENT - then this country needs to ensure that there are schools for EVERYONE - for all learning styles, for all abilities, for all interests - there needs to be educators that understand, trained and are given the time to be flexible to allow children outside the "learning norm" the chance to learn... I mean really learn... not just try to learn how to learn like the norm... that is NOT real learning. Sure to be aware of the many learning styles... but not to have to learn a specific learning style to get the grades...

OH I am so mad...
and after months of being ignored by this new head who runs an "effective" school... finally they have agreed to a meeting, that I said was acute - needed to happen this week or the day after returning from the Easter break, since they have changed his timetable for the third time within 2 weeks without letting us know beforehand, they changed his class without letting us know first, they changed the routines that he is to spend part of his days in a small group with others (and this they have changed twice in the last week, as to how often, and given me two names as to what it is called)... - The idea is that after the easter break we can start afresh... but oh no... we have to wait a week or two after the easter break before we can have that meeting... so of course probably meaning two weeks of a timetable that might get changed again... but the first date we were given did not work for us, as we meet the psychologists then... and a new date has STILL not been given...

Do we change schools AGAIN?

The school for children like my sonl is full... we have been turned down 3 years in a row now..

Please Sweden I am begging you... there needs to be more options so that there is a school that all children WANT to go to... not places I send my child against his will to do stuff in a way that is not meaningful... 

what about the rights of children? Doesn't he have the right to say NO, I don't learn like this...

the sad fact is that my child is seen as a problem... he is not loved, he is not valued... and they have made it certainly clear that he is not being REALLY listened to (they barely listen to us) - he cannot learn because he learns through play and exploration and that is not an option as a soon to be 14 year old in a Swedish school.

And on a side note: the fact that I have the masters in education, but that I have to give my husband the information and prep him before a meeting is just ridiculous... why doesn't society value my education as a woman? Why does it have to be delivered by my husband?

Equality has come a fair way... but there is still a long way to go...

Being a bad parent

This is just a quick post about how it feels like I am being a bad parent... it always has done... because I have "that child" is one of my three children.

"That child" who is clearly not always well liked by teachers because he does not behave the way children are expected to behave in school (mostly because he is protesting the fact that he cannot learn the way they teach in the only way he can in a state of over sensory panic)

Until he was almost three I had a calm and content child... so I assumed I had lucked out on having three amazing children... his older twin sisters were/are model school students... they work hard, they know how to say the right things, they are polite and considerate...

Then, suddenly it was like someone flipped a switch - and this child before me seemed to be at war with the world is it did not perform they way he liked it.

Every day when I picked him up from preschool I heard about the things he had not done, the problems he had caused... and I would meet these comments with efforts of trying to do a better job so that they would not be repeated... of course his behaviour in the preschool/school is completely out of my control and power... but it still made me feel like a bad mother... this child of mine was causing problems...
I remember in his final year of preschool when his new teacher said something positive about him... I actually cried... in fact I am tearing up right now... it was so overwhelming to constantly hear negative things about your child that the positive words just made me a ball of emotions...

I also remember getting an angry email from a mother of a child a few years later accusing my son of being mean to her daughter and teasing her. He was calling her fat. Now I knew at the time that my son could say things as they were without adding any value to them... ie that fat was not a negative but simply an observation... for some reason society has place a negative value of fat - so that it has become an insult.
When I asked my son about it he told me that she was fat... (I knew the girl was overweight too) but that he had noticed that when he said that to her she would leave him (he did not notice that she became sad) - the problem had been that she would come and disturb him all the time because he was an English speaker and this fascinated her... and she would follow him all the time and would not leave hi alone when he repeatedly asked her to leave. But she did when he said "you're fat". He used it as a last resort tool to get rid of her, not as a phrase to tease her.
The long angry and abusive letter I got was of the kind that makes you feel like a bad mother... and I had to count to a hundred before answering that one... but I did pointing out the facts of the case, that I would talk to my son about how he was making her feel, but that she also needed to talk to her daughter about not harassing my son - I got no reply from her.

I have to frequently let my son know that certain words and certain phrases might be considered insulting by others - and he is surprised just about every time... sometimes I really need to convince him that the phrase is not appropriate, that even if HE thinks the sentence is not insulting he has to consider how others listening will perceive him.

As he gets older he gets better at this. As we have practiced with more phrases... but it is still an almost weekly event about what can/should be said... from a socially acceptable point of view

Today he came home from school and said (for the first time in many many years... and the tears are coming to my eyes again) that the other children in the class like him.

THEN there is all the stuff about being a good parents and giving your child freedom and letting them decide themselves how much screen time they get and when they go to bed and all of that...

I simply cannot do that... despite the fact that I talk about a democratic classroom and children making decisions... my children's well-being will always come first. There are decisions that I have to make, decisions that are not popular with my son because it means he cannot access screen time like he wants to... which would probably be ALL the time. I need to manage that for him... but as he gets older I see him being more capable of being able to make these decisions for himself... but my child with autism/ADHD is in many ways like a toddler... he might be almost 14 but in some instances his social and emotional reactions are like a toddler... and his decision making skills have been there too.
As he matures he will get more power in the decision making department... based on his ability and his well-being.

Working with toddlers and young children there are many things they want to do, that you know as an adult are not good for them... and that you have to make that unpopular decision so that you know you are working with your child's long term well-being and not being happy for the moment.

I see that he is going to be capable of doing all of this himself... but what maybe the average 11 might be able to manage about screen time management is something my son still struggles with at almost 14... but is getting there. I want him to develop a self regulation so that when he is an adult and I am not there to help him with regulation he will be able to have a balanced life, that he is able to have control over when he plays on screens rather than the screens compelling him to play like an addiction.

There was a time when my son got so aggressive when he played... or more correctly when he finished playing (to eat, to spend time with family, to have a bath, to go outside) that he made family life pretty miserable for everyone... himself included... because all the time he was trying to work out how to get back onto a screen, how to ensure he got more time than his sisters (as they shared) etc etc. So we rationed the time - gave him 10 hours a week that he could decide how he spent those 10 hours - so that somedays after 2 days there was no time left... and he got on with building lego, drawing and doing other stuff... he got the chance to re-discover the non screen things in his room.
Once he had made this rediscovery - in a way was rehabilitated - he gets more freedom... personally I would love to take his smartphone from him, as he is on a screen so so much more than what I would like...
BUT at the same time I see him using the screen to socialise with others... I see how he is great at negotiating, planning, leading in games and extremely generous... and I see this is slowly seeping into real life... he has always been generous, kind and loving... but in the school environment he is often too overwhelmed to be able to show these skills - so far to frequently he has been seen as the opposite.

BUT every now and again I just HAVE to put my foot down and get him off the screen and to do something else... there has to be a variety in his life... not just screen play and learning... but a hundred languages... and its hard to be using all those hundred languages if you are constantly being the language of a screen.

Then there is the whole outdoor bit... and how good parents take their children outside, and that nature is good for them... and how children feel at ease and better outside...
This is not always the case... it is a uphill battle to get my son outside - despite his love of frogs and other creatures... he is not at peace out there... he is literally whining every step of the way when we have gone for nature walks... to the point where as a parent you are literally screaming inside. There have been times where I have had to just walk off and let my husband take over for a while, as my patience has come to an end...
I see other parents taking out their children and having a fabulous time in nature, or museums or other activities... all impossible things for me and my son (but fully possible with my daughters... so we have had to do things where as a family we have had to split up to meet all their needs).

Internet is great... you get access to so much support and so much research... but at the same time it can make you feel like a bad parent because you simply cannot do the simplest of parenting things.

my son, not understanding why he cannot paddle in the freezing fast flowing river